I am rant.

Am I the only one who thinks pretty much every where that has a line you stand in for more than 5 minutes needs to have a second non-idiot line? I'm looking at you, DMV. You know most of the people showing up aren't the sharpest crayon's in the box; have somewhere for those of us who looked up online which documents we needed and filled out our damn form before delicately squeezing our rotund self's into the que. I mean you too, every fast food restaurant ever. Let those of us who can determine which path we want to take to heart disease in advance have an actual fast way to do so.

They have the right idea at Midway airport in Chicago, with an "Expert Traveler Line" for getting through security... unfortunately the majority of assholes who think of themselves as "experts" are wearing suits and ties, so even them knowing what they are supposed to be doing takes just as long as the idiot women who still wear boots that take forever to take off, 5 layers of coat and 10 different "accessories" to make sure they look good for the suit and ties. (Girls: Just go with damn sweats, and shoes you can slip on and off without tying. Trust me, for suit and tie, it doesn't matter how you look, the fact you aren't nagging him constantly makes you more attractive than than his wife back home.)

My solution for places looking to incorporate my second line idea, but wanting to avoid the problems of Midway? Hire me to stand at the front of the line. Pointing at people saying "Yes" or "No" based on idiot level at a glance, for what minimum wage laws dictate would be the same as I am making now, sounds perfect for all of us.

You're welcome world.

Also, hot girls really are still hot in sweats. When will women figure this out?