In case I've forgotten...

So future me, also known as my primary, perhaps only reader, here are a few things I am no doubt hoping to know but struggling to remember, as my mind slowly goes the way of my dear Grandmother's.

If there is a Dr. there who looks like an older version of the person below, ie nothing like you, she is your sister. Tease her about being adopted. (She wasn't.)

This goofy looking guy, taller than you with a slightly large nose, is your best friend Brent. He has been your best friend forever, which for your memory is about since you got your 3pm snack, but in reality is since before you were a teenager.

If you have memories of being married to a blond actress named Kaley Cuoco, it probably never happened. I'm only telling you because I am confident you will forget what I just said in a few minutes, and still start your nap thinking "Jackpot!"

Stop complaining when the people at your home make you take naps. You worked long and hard to be a financial burden on whoever is paying for you to be there, to get those daily naps. Savor them.

You used to like ska music, swing dancing, ice hockey, and science fiction. Feel free to tell those young whippersnappers that music was better back in your day. It is. Bust out one of those old school dvd players, and re-watch Firefly. It is still the best television show ever made.

Use the term whippersnappers. You've earned it.

The condoms are in your brown puzzle box. I bought a new box and placed them there 6 months ago... it's still full as I write this. If it is still full as I read this at age 80... something has gone terribly wrong. (Continued to go terribly wrong, I suppose?) Don't bother with them now, they are as expired as your testicles must be.

Well, I guess that is it for now, my primary reader. Now take your pants off, and go wandering around pretending to have no idea what happened to them.