I feel bad about the extra nerdy post yesterday. But there are no cats in America, and the streets are paved with cheese. There are no cats in America, so set your mind at ease.

"I'll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm getting paid. Mostly only when I'm getting paid."
Firefly has the best quotes.

Also, just saw the preview for Tucker and Dale versus Evil... actually planning on seeing that in theater :)

Season 5 of The Guild premiered this week. For the majority of you, who don't play MMORPG's, you've probably never heard of it, and wouldn't be entertained by it anyways. But for those of you who do, a throwback, in honor of The Guild:

Date My Avatar (Directed and music composed by Jed Whedon, cause if you are nerdy enough to like this, you are nerdy enough to know why that is awesome.)

I've been trying to figure out why nearly everyone who's blog I read puts up so many more pictures that I do. Today it hit me. Because nearly everyone who's blog I read is prettier than I am, and likes to show off. It either means they are jerks... or I am shallow. I think we all know which is more likely. :)

I try to avoid commenting on sports, politics, or religion here. Partly because everyone has such a strong opinion that they struggle to recognize anything as jest. Unless they agree with it. And partly because there are so many blogs that cover those subjects already. But I have to say... has anyone else noticed that the NFL managed to get a deal done, but the government hasn't? Does that seem right to you?

There was a study in the 1960's by a guy named Mehrabian that showed communication is only 7% words used, while being 38% tone of voice, and 55% non-verbal, ie body language. It's rather famous, and quoted quite a bit, as far as psychology study results go. It's generally taken out of context, and a great example of why you should read a study you hear about, and check it's results and methodology before believing it actually supports whatever people are trying to say it does.

However, presuming it's true: how exactly does it feel to realize, that while so much of our communication takes place in forms like texting, facebooking, and yes, blogging; that only 7% percent of what people understand you as saying comes from the words you use, and 93% comes from last little characters at the end meant to be crude representations of facial expression?

Colon Capital P.

Last night was the 23rd night in a row that I have kept waking up every 2 hours, like clockwork. I really wonder, if there is some ingenious plot afoot, planned by my grandchild hungry parents, and niece desperate sister, to keep this happening. I know they are supposedly states away... but it would be just like them, to trust me to be crazy enough to think "Hey, if I am waking up constantly every night anyways, I might as well get those annoying baby nights out of the way at the same time." The joke is on them, however, as I have already decided to do my best to sync up the "terrible teen" years my children will have with the "men can do nothing right" menopause years my wife will have, by procreating around mid-thirties. Well, her mid-thirties. So... let me sleep, dammit!

Is it too soon to admit I find, the person who was most famous for her song refusing rehab dying from not completing rehab, more poetical than any of her lyrics? And as a psychologist... looks like she should have found time for us. Really. Everyone needs helps sometimes.

I was recently sent an email at work, reminding me I am not allowed to post any "Web logs, or 'blogs'" in reference to where I work, specifics on what I do, or complaining about the company I work for. Thank goodness I use a pen name. That'll fool them for sure! (And if my boss really is reading this... Hi Boss! This isn't me! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!)

Just think. If you are reading this now, you may be one of the few to do so, before it gets edited to say "Former Boss" :P.

Today I bought a book on how to pick up women. I also bought a Star Wars book.

In hindsight, perhaps avoiding buying the later would have precluded my need to buy the former.

I keep coming up with stuff I think will be entertaining to blog about while I am at work. Then, when I get home from work 6 hours later (like right now)... the inspiration is gone. Time for a new blogging app on my phone.

I've come up with my strategy, should I ever try to hit on a girl in a bar. I've thus far avoided this, because it really seems like a poor way to meet someone. But now I confidently have something in my back pocket, should I see a girl who just looks irresistible. I'm not sure whether I will introduce myself or not, however, I will pretty much start with the joke: "Two atoms bump into each other. 'I think I lost an electron' says the first. 'Are you sure?' says the second. 'I'm positive.' replies the first." Then I will walk away. If she is weirded out, well, then she is like girls who actually get to know me. And if she laughs, and comes to talk to me... Jackpot!

I like Red Robin. They have a chicken sandwich with pineapple and teriyaki sauce that is delicious. More importantly, at least at the one nearest my house, every time I go, they are staffed almost entirely by cute, near my age, waitresses. I say almost entirely, because of course, every single time I go, I manage to get the one girl who doesn't fit either of those descriptors. At least, until yesterday. Yesterday, I show up, and miracle of miracles, I manage to get a cute waitress. Not only is she cute, by near my age... but she starts flirting with me. Until, of course, the girl that I am having dinner with gets there. Life and I really need to get our timing synced up.

I was given a tip by Brent to put a blog up about how urination and revolutions are the same... so there is that. Sorry, I still got nothing.

Ladies: Guys aren't really that complimented when you describe them with the same adjectives you would describe your puppy with. Example: Cute.

I like this:

Harry Potter fans need to calm the hell down. My little sister wanted to go to a midnight showing, so we did... at like 8pm. To get good seats. When we got to go sit down a few hours later, the people behind us in line, ie everyone because we got there so crazy early, decided to try and stampede over my half blind, 4'11 90 pound mother. When I got all hockey player, and hip checked their asses back down the tunnel into the theater long enough for her to stand up, some asshole tried to get in my face. I very nearly got into a fist fight at a PG movie premiere for a children's book, because I didn't wanna let some 200 pound 6'2 asshole step on my mother. I probably would have, had she not gotten enough of a lead on the herd of crazed assholes for me to walk away. Does that seem right to you? Even just talking about it, I'm still heated.

A friend of mine told me if I move to her city, I would be Number 1 on her speed dislike. First of all, ouch. Second of all, very astute. It takes most girls a first date to develop that sort of loathing for me. (Of course, the same friend just texted me I was pretty, so... she must be crazy. Sounds like just my type, n'est-ce pas?)

After my 9 hour drive home today, after sitting for about 30 seconds at a red light 2 blocks from getting home, a guy on his crotch rocket rear ended me. I'm fine, my truck is relatively unscathed... but he didn't fair so well. On the upside, the red light was at the corner of a hospital, and I managed to get him into the ER. He'll be fine, though I am guessing broken leg and minor concussion. Bikers... you are smaller than me in vehicle form. If I think I should stop, and you think I should go, guess who has physics on their side?

"No Dad, it's not weird that you changed my bathroom so that, instead of a light coming on when you hit the light switch, a minor ghost character from a children's book suddenly appears on the wall. I'd really like it, though, if you could fix whatever you did to my bed. No? Well, yes, I suppose the couch does work too..."

Tomorrow night will mark the two week anniversary of the last time I slept more than 2 hours in a row. If I hit a month, I feel like I should throw some sort of party. I'm not quite sure what a sleep themed party would look like, because what keeps coming to mind is the joyous hour of Kindergarten we all look back on as "the good old days" or as it was known then, "nap time." I suppose I could see about a melatonin filled pinata. Musical sleeping bags with songs that last about as long as a REM cycle might work too, since there would be some real motivation to stay in each round.

Hey pretty girl. Did you go to college? Did you get your B.A., with all that knowledge?

I'm back in Minnesota for the weekend. My sister is on some crazy Harry Potter kick, so a life size Hermione is staring at me right now in my parents living room. A life size Ron and Harry are here too, but their stupid looks can't really ever be classified as staring.

I don't get why so many more of my friends are constantly posting exactly where they are and with who on facebook. I mean, I like that you can do it, and plan to the next time I am on a date with someone gorgeous... and people who do it every now and then, cool. But does anyone really want there to be an online record of where you spend every night of the last week on a website with questionable privacy?

My favorite blog writer got some job where she doesn't have time too nearly as much. ReinschinScrubs and Brent Jordan better keep going strong, I would hate to get bored with the internet, and have to, you know, do something with my life.

My IPOD transmitter died for a third time as I got on the highway before a long road trip. It's actually the fuse my DC adapter is over that blows... but the IPOD is what kills it. And it's timing is... impressively intelligent. I'm on to you, Steve Jobs.

I like working 40 hours over the first 3 days of a week, then having a 5 day weekend. Not the working part of it, just the weekend part of it.

Well, adventures to ensue while I am home, then be blogged about. And by adventuresI mean my sister and father arguing over where the Gryffindor emblem and where the Hufflepuff emblem should be hanging from the ceiling. Someone call me, distract me, and save me from Harry Potter obsessed med-students celebrating the end of their childhood!

Just finished a 16 hour shift, only got 8 hours till my next one... but I had to throw this up for my fellow brown coats:

This is one of those blogs I really hope any girls I might be trying to date don't read. Actually, I would hope they would read it, and be as geeky as me, but I am a realist... so Kaley Cuoco, go ahead and stop right here.

I went and saw the new Transformers finally. I was entertained, as expected... but my favorite parts were transparent appeals to the nerds of the world. Casting Firefly's Alan Tudyk is genius for any movie hoping for approval from the Comic Con element of society. Especially in a comedic role, and especially if you are going to let him play it with a ridiculous accent. Even more so, having Nimoy do a voice had me, and other Trekkies everywhere smiling... and I wasn't the only one in the theater to geek out at "The needs of the many..." line. I love movies that throw in little stuff to make us nerds of the world smile.

Similarly embarrassing to my admittance to having geekcred, I went and played Laser Tag again last Wednesday, and loved it. Nothing quite like getting together with some fellow nerds, laughing on the inside because they actually play D&D, where as I am much cooler than that and just own TNG on DVD, then walking away incredibly sore but proud to have won 5 of 8, and taken second in the other 3. For the record, I was playing mostly against others who are chronologically adults. Also, for those I played against, pwned.

Since I am talking about stuff I enjoy that no one I expect to read this blog does, I am quite happy with my St. Louis Blues recent free agent signings. If David Perron gets healthy... we really have a shot at not just making, but going somewhere in the playoffs, with a little bit of luck as far as injuries. And once we are in the playoffs, if Halak gets hot... I will be riding the high of the Blues winning the Cup for a solid year after they do.

Well, I will try and be more clever next time. Apologies to everyone who doesn't know the difference between a Klingon and a Wookie. BTW, sign that Trekkers are winning the internet over Star Wars fanboys... Klingon doesn't have red "You spelled this wrong" lines under it, but Wookie does. Keep going boldly, my fellow Trekkers!

My message to the world tonight:

Am I too old to go to a ska concert? There is a pretty good one (Reel Big Fish with Streetlight Manifesto) at the House of Blues in two weeks... hmm.

I've had the new Mumford & Sons song stuck in my head all day. It's not that I want to be listening to sad bastard music, I just want something I can ignore.

The over/under of the times someone says "winning" on the upcoming Comedy Central Charlie Sheen Roast: 42.

Is there any point to people selling a gross of those tiny bottle rocket fireworks in one pack? Has anyone in history ever set off 144 of them individually? No. You start setting them off one at a time... then inevitably you step it up to looking for ways to set them off as a group. Possibly with a stop at shooting them at each other in between. Those little suckers are probably more dangerous than the big stuff, because anytime you give someone enough opportunities, they are going to do something stupid. That's why the longest streak of a position player in baseball without an error is just over 2 seasons. That's why even Roy let in soft goals. That's why, any guy who has dated more than a couple girls, has at least one girl that he would prefer no one hear about him doing stuff with. And would even forget her himself if his asshole best friend would stop bringing her up. Especially in front of other gorgeous women, especially when I'd already gotten caught smiling at the fact Star Trek was playing in the bar... er... um... yea. Too many fireworks and stuff. Bad.

There's a path you take, and a path not taken. The choice is up to you my friend.

Happy 4th of July! Now if my neighbors could stop with the fireworks... we already had one house burn down, right across the street. No need for there to be another.

I just re-read that. Crap. Be safe with the fireworks? When did I start saying things old people say? Unrelated, when did I start feeling the effects of drinking the next day?

My FM transmitter for my IPOD seems to know when I am starting a long drive, and die right at the beginning, then mockingly work when I am going 2 blocks to get take-out chinese food. I really need to put CD's other than the first half of Reel Big Fish live and the Easy A soundtrack in my car.

My sister is 22 years old, and got called "old" in a bar. Does that seem right to you?

I really like Madison. People were friendly, I found my way around without too much issue, and I found a local magazine that seemed to do a good job listing stuff to do. Most importantly, I found a bar where the bartender had Star Trek: The Next Generation playing when I came to the upstairs part. Epic. Of course, there were cute girls around, so I tried to downplay my excitement... but I will certainly be back.

Does drunkenly spilling change out of the middle console of your car count as "making it rain on these hoes?" I hope it does. Because if so... I MAKE IT RAIN ON THESE HOES!